Zombie Virus Symptoms Rolling Stones Ruin Easter

Zombie Virus Symptoms Rolling Stones Ruin Easter


zombie virus symptoms

HAVANA, CUBA – Zombie Virus Symptoms Rolling Stones Ruin Easter

On Friday, over 100,000 Cubans attended the free historic Rolling Stones concert. The concert was quite a success and the band stayed in Cuba to enjoy the weekend. Unbeknownst to the local Havana population, long-time zombies, The Rolling Stones would party all weekend and spread zombie virus symptoms.

The Rolling Stones Bite

“It’s only rock n roll but I like it”, repeated concert goers Ariana Chavez and Hugo Sanchez, “We love the Stones! They can bite us, we don’t care!”

Former president Fidel Castro did not greet United States president Barak Obama when he landed for his historic visit. However, El Presidente wouldn’t miss a Stones concert if his life depended on it. Former president Castro was seen wearing giant red lips, the signature logo of The Rolling Stones.


As the Stones partied throughout the weekend, the zombie virus symptoms spread through Havana.

Zombie Bunny Loves You

In Cuba, 60% of the population is Roman Catholic and the annual Easter celebration is an important event. Though the country and it’s celebrations aren’t as commercialized as the United States, the Easter bunny is prominent. Many parents buy their children fluffy white bunnies as pets each Easter. Since Cuba is in the international spotlight this year, 1000’s of bunnies were imported for the event. The bunny-keepers didn’t realize their animals were in any danger and the security restrictions were low.

The Stones Ruin Easter

After the long weekend of partying following The Rolling Stones concert, the band managed to get around town. At some point Saturday night, a witness reported seeing Keith Richards bite and infect an Easter bunny. The vorpal bunny in turn bit his colleagues and the zombie virus symptoms spread throughout the bunny holding area.

By Sunday morning after Easter Mass, the zombie bunnies were flooding the town, attacking men, women and children.

“Those bunnies were attacking everything and not one of them even had an Easter basket with eggs”, said Carlos Diaz, “I can still hear the childrens cries!”

Zombie Stones Escorted

The Cuban government has declared The Rolling Stones as enemies of the state. We caught up with the band as they were escorted to the airport. Zombie Hustle was able to get a quote from the famous front man, Mick Jagger.

“The hardest part about this whole zombie thing is trying to bite kids when you’re wearing dentures, man,” said Mick.




Zombie Virus Symptoms Rolling Stones Ruin Easter

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