Zombie Symptoms Help Revive Miley Cyrus Career

Zombie Symptoms Help Revive Miley Cyrus Career

Zombie Symptoms

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – Zombie Symptoms Help Revive Miley Cyrus Career

After a long dry spell in acting roles and a general lack of respect by the public, Miley Cyrus’ career is getting a revival. Thanks to the zombie symptoms of the recent bite during her honeymoon with Liam Hemsworth in Australia. While Hemsworth was at the local hair warehouse┬áreplenishing his stockpile of hair products, Cyrus ventured out and met a lone zombie at a club. After twerking for a few songs, the zombie decided that he just wanted a One-Bite-Stand and wasn’t interested in anything more.

Twerk Failure

“She was nice and all but I wasn’t feelin’ it,” said zombie Ethan Kelly, “I was just tryin’ to shuffle and she was pushin’ her twerk moves on me. I just bit her and moved on.”

Kelly has since started a YouTube channel in an attempt to extend his 15 minutes of fame. Good luck to you, Mr. Kelly!

Paparazzi To The Rescue

When Mrs. Cyrus┬áreturned home to Los Angeles, the zombie symptoms were quite apparent and the waiting paparazzi got plenty of footage. The later stages of zombie infection were showing. This led to several front page covers and resulted in her agent being flooded with calls with offers for new work. Attempts to contact Mrs. Cyrus’ agent were not returned but this publication was able to contact another reliable source.

According to Cyrus’ agent’s-assistant’s-cousin’s-daughter, Desiree Jackson, “Miley was getting offers for zombie movies, zombie dance crews (mostly shufflers) and even zombie cooking shows!”

“She is very interested in an extreme zombie diet book named ’30 Days Without Brains’,” said Jackson.

30 Days Without Brains

After some investigation, we were able to contact the Brains & Noble book publisher that is in charge of the project. Douglas Murphy, Editor-In-Chief commented that, “We expect Miley to breeze through 30 Days Without Brains. She’s done it for most of her career.”

“For many years, Miley has shown skill in making decisions and taking actions without using any brain power. We feel that she’s a perfect fit for 30 Days. Her zombie symptoms seem to compliment her,” continued Murphy.

Hannah Montana

Miley Cyrus, born Destiny Hope Cyrus, is a singer, actress and daughter of country singer Billy Ray Cyrus. She is well known for her teen idol years as Hannah Montana and during the “dark years” when she was twerking for dollars.

 

Zombie Symptoms Help Revive Miley Cyrus Career




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