Reported Zombie Attacks Dip During Obama Cuban Visit

Reported Zombie Attacks Dip During Obama Cuban Visit

Reported Zombie Attacks

HAVANA, CUBA – Reported Zombie Attacks Dip During Obama Cuban Visit

U.S. President Barack Obama visited Havana on Tuesday, marking the first Cuban visit by an American president in close to 100 years. Mirroring many global leaders lack of respect for Mr. Obama, Cuban president Raul Castro failed to greet him when he landed.

Presidential Waiting Queue

“We were able to pencil in Mr. Obama for a meeting with El Presidente Castro the following day, for a few minutes,” explained Alejandro Castro Espin,┬áMr. Castro’s personal assistant and son, “My father is an important man and the American president just had to get in line with the others.”

Instead Mr. Obama spent the day enjoying a baseball game, in the sun. He was briefly interrupted by some irritating news of a little Islamic terrorist suicide bombing in Brussels, Belgium. Fortunately, it didn’t ruin his good time at the game.

“It’s unfortunate that such a thing had to happen during a baseball game but what can you do”, commented Mr. Obama, “We must all remember that Christians did bad stuff too.”

Zombies Yawn

Reported zombie attacks were virtually non-existant during the presidential visit. The Cuban zombie population, usually big fans of baseball games, failed to storm the event. Showing the same lack of interest in Mr. Obama’s historic visit to the island nation, they decided to take the day off and hang out at the beach. Our Cuban reporters were able to find a few meandering zombies shuffling in the surf.

Hector Chavez, local zombie said, “Obama? Isn’t that the guy that sells all of the guns in America? Meh…I’m working on my tan today.”

Actually, the government announced that their were no reported zombie attacks during the visit.

Cuban Payback

The current president of Cuba, Raul Castro, brother of the infamous Fidel Castro took over as president when Fidel took ill in 2006. Raul and Fidel, both Cuban politicians and revolutionaries were both expelled from the Jesuit school they attended, as children. In 1953, they decided to get some pay back and started the Cuban Revolution which led to Cuba changing into a communist government, thus getting their revenge for the childhood insult.


Reported Zombie Attacks Dip During Obama Cuban Visit

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