Recent Zombie Attacks Blamed For Low Chipotle Burrito Sales

Recent Zombie Attacks Blamed For Low Chipotle Burrito Sales

recent zombie attacks

KINGMAN, ARIZONA – Recent Zombie Attacks Blamed For Low Chipotle Burrito Sales

Chipolte Mexican Grill, Inc. announced Friday that it expects corporate sales earnings to be lower than expected. It sites recent zombie attacks for “less than stellar” burrito sales for early 2016.

Chipolte spokesman Ells Stevenson said, “Over the years, Chipolte has experienced several virus outbreaks. This is not uncommon for corporate restaurants that serve millions. The zombie virus outbreak however, has been unprecedented.”

Zombies biting guests is not good for our brand.

Since March 2008, the Chipolte chain has seen issues with E. coli, norovirus, and even hepatitis outbreaks. None of the occurrences can compare to the trouble with the recent zombie virus outbreak.

“Recent zombie attacks at our Kingman location aren’t very popular with our regular guests. We’ve found that many of our normal guests want to bite a burrito, not get bitten,” continued Stevenson, “Zombies biting guests is not good for our brand.”

Company representatives have yet to provide an explanation for the attacks. This is not typical for the organization as it is usually quick to provide hard evidence of any source of an outbreak. Chipolte has a long track record of providing reassurance to the general public of the continued safety of it’s locations. However, in this case, it appears that the management is dealing with a problem that is posing a difficult challenge.

Fleeing with her burrito from the Chipolte location, local Kingman resident Jessica Jenkins said, “These zombies be trippin’. I ain’t got time for that.”

Chipolte Mexican Grill

The corporate food chain has fast food locations in the United States, Canada and Europe. The company name is derived from the Aztec name for a dried and smoked jalapeno pepper. Chipolte’s mission statement focuses on “Food with Integrity.” There are now over 1,900 locations with over 45,000 employees to serve you.

 

recent-zombie-attacks

 

 

Recent Zombie Attacks Blamed For Low Chipotle Burrito Sales




Facebook Comments