Philadelphia Zombie Virus Experiments Exposed

Philadelphia Zombie Virus Experiments Exposed

philadelphia zombie

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA – Philadelphia Zombie Virus Experiments Exposed

A clandestine experimental laboratory was discovered on Friday in a remote area of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. According to documents found in the facility, the laboratory, was used in Philadelphia zombie virus experiments. An impressive structure, the laboratory is a circular design and in addition to the laboratory facilities, includes housing, administration offices, and recreational features. Abandoned for decades, the site appears to have been a Cold War era research complex.

Zombie Pit

Antoine Ferguson, 23 year old local Philly resident, discovered the facility while looking for a place to “chill with the homies.” Antoine explained that his “mom’s” had kicked him out of the house and they needed a new location to have a party.

“We gonna call it the ‘Zombie Pit’ cause it’s a pit and they had zombies in it. Get it?” asked Ferguson, “Cops n feds are all over the place so we gonna have to wait til it cools down.”

According to residents of a nearby apartment building, no one knew what the hole was. It has been fenced off for years and only children have ventured near it.

“This explains why our neighborhood has been plagued with missing children for so many years! Our children-zombies are probably down there right now!” shouted Euphrain Epstein, as an angry crowd began to gather outside of the fenced area.

Zombie Hustle has no actual verified zombie sightings in the area. Though the laboratory documents have been authenticated. In a news briefing, a government spokesperson was able to confirm the site was being sanitized. However, she explained the government plans for the future of the location.

Jessica Lynchburger, [government agency and position withheld] explained, “We are prepping the site for Philadelphia zombie housing. Many zombies in Philadelphia are always shuffling and they need an adequate housing solution.”

The Z Team

The Cold War era was a military and political stalemate between the World War II western powers and Russian allies. Not much is known about the zombie history involved. Few reportsĀ of zombie combat troops do exist. In some reports, the CIA developed an elite unit called the “Z Team.”

The Z Team eventually became a political casualty and was framed for crimes they didn’t commit. They promptly escaped from prison and survive in the Philadelphia underground as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire, the Z Team.

 

Philadelphia Zombie Virus Experiments Exposed




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